Never a Dull Moment

This weekend was perfect! Friday night we stayed home and had a simple night with the kids. Gregg and Michelle hung the Christmas lights outside, we had a yummy clam boil, and relaxed watching Christmas specials. Saturday we went to see Cinderella's Christmas as part of our niece Sam's birthday party. Later that night, while my kids stay with my future in-laws, Gregg and I caught up with my good friend and her hubby for drinks and dinner in Providence. And Sunday was amazing. After Gregg made a big breakfast and I helped his mom prep for dinner, we headed over to Wickford Village. There we saw Santa come in on a boat accompanied by reindeer in kayaks!!! It was very cool! After a little Christmas shopping with my future sister-in-law we head back to Gregg's parents' house for Hanukkah. Phyllis and I made the latkes. We had matzah ball soup, and brisket, and potatoes, and carrots, and tons of desserts. Gregg's dad and his friends led us in the prayers and the kids lite the Menorah. We even played dreidel. Which is a surprisingly fun game!

My in-laws are wonderful people. They've accepted my children as their own grandchildren. They treat me with such warmth and love. I definitely can see why Gregg is such an amazing person. I am such a lucky girl and my holidays will be merrier than ever this year.

A new month is here! The "holidays" are in full swing. We're one month closer to our wedding. And we're almost into a New Year!

We had a productive Thanksgiving weekend...Thanksgiving with my family on Thursday, a date night on Friday, followed by removing more bushes and putting up a few sections of fence on Saturday, and Thanksgiving with my future in-laws on Sunday. It was a perfect weekend.

Somehow this week we've also managed to get some Christmas decorations outside and the tree up and decorated inside. Oh, AND I have completely finished shopping for my kids and nieces!

So I should be feeling great, right? WRONG!

Why? My life is damn near perfect so shouldn't I be doing cartwheels?

For a longtime now I have wonder if I suffer from a disease. Seasonal Affected Disorder or SAD (how appropriate).

I live in New England where at this time of year we have maybe 7 to 8 hours of daylight per day. Notice I didn't say sun. We don't really see the sun but some days are brighter than others. Anyway since I'm up about 17 hours a day (5am to 10pm) this means MORE than half my day is spent in darkness.

My symptoms are a complete lack of motivation to do anything, I'm tired no matter how much or how well I sleep, and I'm mopey for no reason. Really no reason because there is nothing in my life that I would change right now. Also, I don't feel like this in the summer. In the summer I feel fabulous. I have tons of energy and I'm in a great mood all the time.

So I have pretty much diagnosed myself with SAD. Fortunately I have a friend that has been trying light therapy. Light therapy is very basically when you use a lamp with special lights for 20 minutes or so a day to "give you a boost". She likes it, another friend who lives in a crappy Michigan bought on for herself and is going to try it. I figured what the heck can it hurt. For $30 I might feel better. SOLD!

I'm excited for it to get here so can try it! Let's hope it helps!

I love Thanksgiving! I love it more than Christmas. I love it almost equally with my birthday! Why? Because Thanksgiving is still so pure! They don't start playing Thanksgiving songs 6 months ahead of time on the radio. They don't put Thanksgiving decorations out in stores until after Halloween. And Thanksgiving doesn't try to steal attention from other Holidays.

Funny enough though, I don't really like Turkey. I prefer the dark meat slathered in gravy and I take big helpings of the mashed potatoes, turnips and carrots, and broccoli casserole. Oh and my aunt's stuffing. Mmmm.

I love that my kids don't wake me up at 4am to see what the Pilgrims left them under the Rock. I love that we sit and cuddle to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

I could go on and on for hours. The only thing I dislike is that my kids have to go to their dad's but I certainly understand that he and his family want to see them too.

So here's my short list of what I'm thankful for this year...
1.My beautiful girls. They are so good. Always well behaved and never REALLY give me any trouble.
2. The handsome, warm, generous, loving man that I soon get to call HUSBAND! Since he has come into my life everything is better.
3. My pretty new home. It's cozy and more than I ever dreamed I'd have.
4. My family and my future in-laws. I am surrounded by crazy wonderful people.
5. My friends. Everyday I find out who my true friends are and I am so grateful to have them in my life.
6. Health. Everyone I know is reasonably healthy.
7. A job. While I don't love mine I'm glad that I have one.

I think about where I was a year ago and how much I've gained and accomplished, and it makes me so happy I could cry.

I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving.

WOW! I haven't blogged since August! There has been so much going on. Let's see...we'll start with the house. It's coming along so nicely. It feels like home. All cozy and warm and cute. Even the landscaping came along nicely. Then there is school. I'm in my 4th term. I have 2 classes each term and I've walked away with 5 A's and one B+ for a GPA of 3.90. This is the best I have ever done in school. Soon-to-be hubby and the kids are great. My oldest played soccer this fall. Gregg and coached her team. They weren't great but it was a lot of fun. My youngest is looking to get involved with a children's theater group. God help me that child is soo much like me. And the wedding is just about completely planned. April 19, 2011 on the beach in Key West. Airplane tickets are bought, the dress is already here, the bridesmaid dresses are ordered, Gregg has a suit, we both have our wedding bands. I just need to do "Welcome Bags" and finish paying for everything. So that's it in a nutshell.

The other morning I got out of bed early to water my plants.

"What is wrong with me?" I thought as I unwound the hose. I proceed to talk to myself as I watered my cute little plants, and the patch of dust that will hopefully eventually be grass. Then it hit me..."Nothing better EVER happen to Gregg or I'll wind up a crazy lady that talks to herself while she gardens." That's right, if something happened to him I'd bury myself in my gardening and my cats. No that's not right, cause I really don't like cats. A dog; I'd have a dog. A big, cuddly, slobbering mutt. That's when I realized...

When I grow up I'm going to be Wheezer.

(For those of you who do not know who that is hide your face in shame.)

Shame on me...it's been over a week since I've posted anything. It's also been a week since I stopped the drops. I was going crazy on them. I don't like chicken to begin with and to ask me to eat it plain for 40 days for at least one meal a day was just getting to be too much. Hey i did 20 days and I lost 12 pounds though. In the last week without the drops I've been fluctuating between 169.2 and 170.8. And that's with having birthday cake, pizza and fried seafood. If I have to do another 20 days I'll do it after my cousins wedding. But I think if I keep eating carefully I can lose a few more pounds between now and then.

Day 17....I have finally hit the 10 pounds gone mark. 170.4. So if we're being technical it's 10.4. HA take that! I've got 23 more days. 155 here I come. That's my new goal. 155 by June 26th. PLEASE, OH PLEASE let this happen.

Day 16...I'm soooo tired of this diet and I've got 24 days to go. Actually the diet doesn't bother me. Losing only 2 ounces after being so good and not cheating is really frustrating me!! I mean what was the point of not having half a mozzarella stick? What was the point of not having BBQ sauce on my pork chop. I liked it better when I was losing a pound a day. This is a lot of work for a little return.

For example, tonight we're leaving right after work to head to Rhode Island to do some snorkeling. The rest of the family is having Subway on the way down. I took the time this morning to pack my chicken and tomatoes. My poor lunch bag is bursting at the seams. I figured if I'm prepared I won't be tempted to cheat. I'd like to see 169 by Friday...chop chop.

It was a long weekend. And I hovered at 172ish. But despite having a slice of pizza, which is a huge no no, I lost again. Luckily, for the next 17 days we will be so busy packing that I won't have time to cheat. By the time we close on the house on June 18th I should weigh 163. By the time of my cousins wedding on June 26, I should weigh 159. I'm going to aim to be 155, but I'll take 159. Let's see if I can do it!

It's working, it's working.

Every moring that I get on the scale and see a loss makes me want to do a happy dance.

That's really all... Well no, not really.

Last night was Michelle's first flute concert. It was amazing. But we got home at 9pm...and after moving the day before we were exhausted.

Tonight we'll do some work at his apartment before we turn the keys over. Then I think we'll keep it light the rest of the weekend. Tomorrow I'd like to sleep late and then do a few light things around my place. Maybe some laundry. Then at night we'll head down to my sister-in-law's for a cookout. My brother is still away at training. She invited friends over for a Summer Kickoff Bash. I'm touched she invited me so we'll make the hour drive to show her that. Sunday we're out early so Gregg can go diving with his dad and then we'll spend the day with his family. And Monday maybe we'll start packing up small things at my house and then spend the day with my family.

And then we have to kick it in high gear because 3 weeks from today is the scheduled closing. I AM SOOOOO EXCITED!!!

I am completely exhausted. We spent all day yesterday, in 90 degree weather, lugging furniture down from Gregg's second floor apartment into Mike's van and over to the storage unit. Thank God Gregg was a big fan of the game Tetris. The storage area is now packed. So it's official. We live together.

And the home inspection went perfect. Our dream home is a dream. So if everything continues to go well we'll be closing on June 18th. That means in a little over a month I'll be living my happily ever after. Well, almost. The wedding is until next April and Gregg hasn't even proposed yet. But it's coming. He was looking a rings again the other day. Actually, I have my suspisions about when it will happen. One guess is after the closing, when we go by the house that night. The other guess is July 9th. That's our 6 month anniversary. But my money is on the closing. We'll see.

Anyway, back to the diet stuff. Day 10 of the drops, day 8 of the VLCD (very low calorie diet). I am down 6.8 or 7.8 pounds depending on which scale you ask. I feel great. I'm actually wearing a dress to work for the first time in months. I've been so bummed out about my weight that I've been wearing jeans and t-shirts to work for at least 2 or 3 months now. So it's working. And it's not as hard as I thought it would be. I cheat a little bit here and there. I had one cracker and one piece of cheese the other night. Yesterday had 2 potato chips. But that's it. I kill the craving and move on. I bring a lunch cooler with me EVERY where I go. This way I'm not stuck. Because that's when it will all fall apart. This morning when I looked in the mirror I could see a difference. I've got 29 more days to go. Can you imagine if I lost a pound a day? I'd weigh 145. Even if I only lost 1/2 a pound a day. I'd weight 158. Ok I like the idea of losing a pound a day better. Weighing 145 would make me very happy. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't care if I lost another pound after that.

So everything is coming together. Slowly but surely. Now if i could just get my ex husband to act like an adult then my life would be perfect. But I've come to the conclusion that he will do his best to be a thorn in my side forever, and I'm going to do my best to ignore him. At least I'll be thinner, have a beautiful home, a handsome husband that adores me and is helpful and considerate and wonderful. Two gorgeous daughters that bring me so much joy and pride that I could burst. Life is better than good.

Check me out. Down 4 lbs since I started this. I'm not starving. Sometimes it presents a challenge cooking for the family. Like right now I'm suppose to order meat from the butcher but I have no idea what to order. I wish my kids ate more seafood. Then there would be more choices...but oh well. I'm already on Day 7. I can do this. Especially if I keep losing this kind of weight.

On the homefront, it's quiet. We've got Gregg almost all packed. We're taking Wednesday off to get his furniture out of his apartment. He'll be out of there this weekend and then we can start packing me up. This part is not fun. But we picked out the tile for the bathroom floor. I love it! That is fun. I can't wait to pick out the paints. To me, that's fun too. And I won't mind cleaning there though because then I'll be moving in.

Gregg and I took a walk to the new house last night. We walked around it talking about where to put the swingset and what to do with the huge bushes that cover the house. It was nice to stand in our yard and daydream. We're getting close though.

Home inspection tomorrow. That makes me nervous. Obviously, we're not independently wealthy so if there is anything major that is wrong we'll have to walk away. And I don't want to walk away. I'm just gonna keep praying about it.

Yay my sale isn't broken. And yay this craziness works!! I'll take a 0.6 loss. It's the most I've had in months.

Last night I worked very hard to get prepared. I cooked up 4 portions of chicken and 3 portions of shrimp and put them in individual containers. Convenience is key for me. If I can just grab my lunch and go, then I am much more likely to stick to the plan.

Although at 7:30am the plan become very hard to stick to. I had to watch my 7 year old eat a chocolate frosted donut. Kill me.

But I made it through. No donut. Just black coffee with Stevia. I've got my grapefruit here for my morning snack. Leftover fish for lunch with a cucumber. An apple for my afternoon snack. Steak on the grill with tomatoes for dinner. Somebody pat me on the head for being a good girl.

And props to Gregg. He's being sooo good. He's eating the same stuff as me. Just larger portions. But like last night he cooked us plain white fish and he only put lemon and salt and pepper on it. Good boy. It's so much easier with someone that's willing to work with you.

Ok, gimme a break. I pigged out yesterday. I drank soda. I ate 4 slices of pizza. I had Chocovin (which is chocolate wine). And the flippin' scale doesn't move. So I thought maybe my scale wasn't working. I got on the scale at work, 181.0.

So this just proves my theory. My body is stuck and needs this diet. I am ready!

This morning I stopped at the grocery store. I bought everything I need for success. Stevia, sea salt, Mrs. Dash seasonings, apple cider vinegar, and tons of fruit and veggies. $56 I am armed and ready to go. I had my coffee black with Stevia drops this morning and lived to tell about it. I have a water bottle that holds 64oz. It's filled, chilled and sitting next to me. I'm munching on my strawberries. I am armed and dangerous. I am woman, hear me roar. I'm gonna be a skinny nitch.

On the homefront, there isn't much to report. We've scheduled the home inspection for Tuesday. So now it's sit and wait. We decided on red for the accent wall in the living room. We found inexpensive tile that we like for the bathroom. We agreed on a color for the bedroom (Thunder Cloud). We found a bed for the bedroom (right now we just have a frame). But that's gonna have to wait a while. So basically we're ready.

Gregg got a storage unit yesterday so we're packing up his apartment ASAP. Saturday we're taking a break and going salt water fishing with his dad. Just for our sanity. Oh and I am thinking for our Key West wedding that I would like my sister and daughters to wear a pale yellow. Then I could carry a yellow and purple bouquet. Purple is my favorite color and I wanted to incorporate it. This idea makes me happy.

And now, some sad news. I have been to several Jimmy Buffett concerts. For the last 3 years my friends and I have gone together, tailgated, weathered Hurricanes (not kidding), eaten Cheeseburgers in that Paradise known as Great Wood's Parking lot, and consumed more Margaritas then I would ever care to count. This year the tradition will be broken. My best friend that I go with is backing out to go to Gay Pride. Normally, I would be very miffed at him. HOWEVER, we close on the house on the day before the concert. We had considered backing out on him but figured we'd just suck it up. So even though I'm a little sad not to see Buffett, I am very excited that we can start painting and tiling a day sooner than we thought. That means maybe, just maybe by the following weekend we can be in the house sleeping there!!! I hope so.

I think my scale is broken. 180.8...again, after eating McDonald's, a nasty breakfast and KFC for dinner. You're supposed to gain during these 2 days. Oh well, as long as I start losing in the next few days I'll be ok.

Now for news on the home. We signed the P & S last night. While we were there I measured windows and rooms and floors. Fortunately we don't need a whole ton of stuff. That's a very good thing because today I called for home inspectors. OMG!! $300 for you to walk around the house I'm in love with and tell me every little thing that is wrong with it. Why don't you just pull my toe nails off? It's torture I tell you!! I'm not sure I can be there for it. Gregg may have to do it alone. Except then I'll be texting him every five minutes to find out how it's going so I may as well just go.

But we've made some decisions. The living room is already a tan. We're leaving it tan. Except one wall has a small crack that needs to be repaired. Instead of trying to match the paint, we've decided to make it an accent wall. So now we can't decide if we want to go with a richer brown or a deep berry red. The couch, love seat and chair are a light brown, the tables and entertainment center will be black. I'm hoping for berry curtains that I fell in love with. So the dilema. Will a brown accent wall be too much brown? Does a red accent wall limit us too much?

The kids room is all set. Our bedroom is easy. We're painting it grey. I like a color called Thunder Cloud. Gregg won't care. Grey is grey to him. I just need to find curtains for our room. The bathroom needs to be tiled. Gregg's going to do that. So then it's just curtains for the bathroom and kitchen and we're done. Kind of. We need a computer desk, and end tables, and a new medicine cabinet. But those things are going to have to wait.

Just talking about this has made me very tired. I need a nap.

The real point of this blog is to track my progress, as I begin yet another diet. But at the same time, I'm buying a house and planning a wedding. I know, I'm insane!

So the diet I'm starting is HCG drops. I stole the idea from my friend, Mel. I was stuck. Big time. It seemed like no matter what I ate, or didn't eat I'd gain. I haven't lost a pound in over 6 months. And I am frustrated.

HCG is the hormone women produced when they are pregnant. I take the drops under my tongue and they are supposed to basically release the excess store fat that I have in my body, and reset my metabolism. This is not an inexpensive endeavor. Nor is it easy. While I am on these drops I'm suppose to eat 500 calories a day. I can only eat certain meats, veggies and fruits. No carbs, no oils, no sugar. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? Right. (I hope!)

So here we go. Day 1. I weigh 180.8 lbs. My absolute, all time heaviest. UGH!!!!!! I took the drops before breakfast. And I took a B12 supplement. Since today is a loading day I had 2 poached eggs, sausage, country gravy and shredded potatoes. No idea what I'll get for lunch. And I've promised the kids KFC for dinner. I can HEAR my arteries hardening. I get to eat this crap again tomorrow. Then day 3 starts starvation mode. Just kidding. Kind of.

For fun, on top of trying an insane diet, our offer was accepted on a house yesterday. Tonight, at 5:45p, we sign the Purchase and Sales Agreement. Then it's full speed ahead because we're hoping to close on June 18th. I know it seems soon but there's no reason to wait. Our financing is in place, Gregg and I both have apartments that we rent month to month, and the house is an estate. So it's empty.

Hold on, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.